i feel my heart crumbling to thousands of tiny pieces. each tiny piece carved with your name. i can feel the endless bleakness of night. stretching from here to eternity. i can hear the howls of loneliness eating me up. solitude. bleakness. why cant i find the tears to shed for you? my heart laments for you. my soul yearns for you. my body desires you. i love you. please be forever happy without me. farewell my love.

sadness comes not with any words but with silence. only the sobs of sorrow can fathom the depth of sadness. no words can express true emotions for words have become limited by the meaning they carry. emotions such as sadness transcend these meanings. it surpasses all save empathy.
hence, it should suffice; I AM SAD.

wow it has been a while since i felt my sadness. ive been so in love with her that ive been blinded. ive had my rude awakening

i just remembered why i love watching movies and reading books... for the brief period of the story, everything makes sense.... you forget for that moment all your woes and worries, you focus on the story at hand you live the characters lives and their tribulations.. you get lost in the moment and amidst all the seemingly unresolvable issues it ends. everything ends. all is resolved. and you return to your reality to find all your woes there waiting for you.

could that have been me? no point in pondering what could haves....

DANIEL
Some gilrs
Take hours
To paint every perfect nail
Fragrant as flowers
All powdered
And prim and pale
But you are as wild
As that wind-blown tree
As dark and as deep as the
Midnight sea
While they're busy dressing
You lie here warm and bold
Some girls you picture
Some you hold

Some girls
Take courses
At all the best schools in France
Rising their horses
And learning their modern dance
They're clever and cultured
And worldly wise
But you see the world
Through a child's wide eyes
While they're dreams are grand ones
You want what's just in reach
Some girls you learn from
Some you teach

You are not small talk
Or shiny cars
Or mirrors
Or French cologne
You are the river
The moon
The stars
You're no one else
I've ever known

Some girls
Take pleasure
In buying a fine trousseau
Counting each treasure
And tying each tiny bow
They hold their futures
With perfumed hands
While you face the future
With no demands
Some girls expect things
Others think nothing of
Some girls you marry
Some you love

have you ever thought about dying? what does happen afterward? do we simply cease to exist? are there things such as ghosts or spirits or whatever remnants of our self? are we reincarnated and trapped in an endless cycle of rebirth and death?
can i stop thinking? when does it all end? is there a point to all oh this?
where are we really? where is it that i am going?
why cant i.....? why am i.....? who is to blame?
is there a reset button to this all? can i just reset and start over?
why am i still unhappy? anyone? pls just give me answers

fickle joys, eternal sorrow

the air seemed stale... unmoving for centuries, the world, my world, was constricting around me. my breathing became heavier. i just had to leave. some places carry the musky scent of despair.

is it because of her being biased against me? was it because i didnt stand up for myself?
was it her indifference towards me?
do i like her?

sadness just seems to be with me... is there no happiness?

the sweetest silence can be the most deafening of all

why cant i forget what you did to me?
i bleed to death each time i recall.
why did you set me up to fall?
i know you just dont see

how you broke my heart in two,
without me being in love with you.

and the world conspires once more...

Onaji kisetsu Onaji basho de kimi to kizandekita koi
Hajimete da ne Boku no mae de namida wo nagashita no ha

Otagai no michi ga chigau kawa itsuka kounaru koto
Wakatteitahazu dakedo Doushite mo kuyashikatta...

Atowazu ka de hanareteyuku Bukiyouna bokura no koi
Jikan ga sou Tomareba ii Matataki sae shitakunakatta yo

Donna toki mo boku no senaka wo sotto oshite kureta
Sukitootta sono yasashisa ga mne wo shimetsukeru yo

Kaeru basho wo nakushita futari Kimi ni deaenakattara
Shiawase no imi Setsunasa no imi Nani mo wakaranakatta
Ai ni narenai mama no koi ha Shizuka ni nemutteyuku yo
Saigo ni kureta Egao wasurenai... Soshite boku ha arukidasu

Takusan no omoide wo noseta Ano akai fuusen ha
Mou modotte konai yo Takaku Takaku tondeiku

Kanashimi mo yorokobi mo zutto Wakeai nagara
Miteita mirai no katachi Akogareteita mono ni ha naranakatta
Ai no imi wo nokoshita mama de wakareteshimatta keredo
Kitto bokura ha kagayaiteita ne... Soshite kimi ga kieteiku

Kaeru basho wo nakushita futari Kimi ni deaenakattara
Shiawase no imi Setsunasa no imi Nani mo wakaranakatta

Itsumademo utaitsudzuketa yo Boku no koe ga todoku made
Saigo ni kureta Egao wasurenai...

Dare yori mo hoka no nani yori mo Suki datta kimi he...


in this same season, in this same place, this love that we both promised (engraved)
it was the first time (to cry) right? when you first shed your tears in front of me
in the same road, a river of difference (????) suddenly appeared between us
i should have understood (our differences), but no matter what, it was too difficult (vexing / regrettable)
our clumsy love slowly started to weaken (drift apart actually)
if only time would have stopped, just only slowly flickering (twinkling) like the stars
you always supported me from behind (gave me a push)
and the kindness that i received from you made me feel a bitter sweet pain in my heart
i didn't see you when i went back to place where i return home to (i guess pwede na ang "my home")
i never understood the meaning of happiness or of sadness (pain literally)
this feeling that never became love is slowly going to sleep peaceful
i will never forget that last smile you gave me... and with that, i will move on (with my life)
those many feelings that i placed on that red balloon
will never come back, and will keep on floating up towards the sky
sadness and happiness, always coming together

this song has always been haunting me for the past days....

kada araw kay sakit, pag ibig na walang kapalit
nais kang makita, nais kang kasama
kay layo ng bukas, kay tagal ng oras

kailangang mag timpi takot ng ma kanti
di na kakayanin isa pang kawalan
bakit ka nawala sa aking piling

kay tagal ng aking katapusan, puso kong sugatan
kaya sana'y gumaling, sanay ikay makalimutan
ngunit nde mangyayare kailan pa man

your so beautiful it hurts so so so so so so so so so so so so much.

puso kong sugatan
sayong kamay ay tangan
wag nang bitawan

there are simply some things which we cannot get. somethings which really cannot happen for one reason or another. we just have to accept reality, live and move on. but for people like me, this is hell. i would forever imagine that what ifs. how sad it is for us to never be able walk the two roads. now more than ever i understand you mr frost. oue lives are fraught with endless choices, endless situations; and, sadly, we can never come back to chose one over the other. we are slaves of time, circumstance and of ourselves.

masama bang mangarap sa mga bitwin?
masama bang ikay aking hilingin?
akiy tanto
ikay langit at akoy sa kabilang dulo


di ako karapatdapat ni ngalan mo'y sambitin
ngunit sa aking mga panaginip ikay akin
wala akong maibibigay
walang tulak kabigin

akoy sayoy nde nababagay
kayat iyong patawarin
puso koy ikay dinadalangin
ikaw ang kapaling

its strange how our actions influence others. we should be wary of our actions because we never really know how other people are affected by it. its strange how simple gestures, little things, may touch someone's soul so profoundly. live! laugh! enjoy life to its fullest. we can never fathom what tomorrow will bring.